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Saturday, July 16, 2005

A very large cat and Susan looking decisively not mannish


Friday, July 15, 2005

Truer words have never been overheard at the State Farm Insurance Office:
"When you start over its like starting all over again."

I like scary movies
BG is out of town, visiting Minnesota relatives and attending a wedding for his cousin. Last night, after a couple of drinks with my ladies, I came home early and apparently decided to scare the shit out of myself.

The aforementioned statement is true. I like scary movies. But here are the qualifiers: 1. If I see a scary movie in the theatre, it must be an early matinee so that I am assured daylight when I'm walking to my car. I can't imagine what I must have looked like running at top speed to safety after a 7 pm showing of 28 Days Later at the Tate Center. 2. You may not touch me for any reason during or for a small period of time after a scary movie on the chance that you will startle me and I pee myself. 3. No scary noises, even if you think its funny.

This being said, I'm not sure what possessed me to watch Dawn of the Dead (zombie movies are particularly of interest to me, but have the worst effect...) and then the movie that BG claims is the scariest movie he's ever seen, The Thing.
As the sun peeked over the horizon this morning and I sat wide-eyed in bed with every light in the house on and a baseball bat tucked securely at my side I made a silent pact with myself to make wiser decisions in the future in regards to movies and my time alone in the house.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

gunterschmidt

There are six ducks outside and they all want Sunchips
I have whittled by daily activities down to one. I found myself today thinking, "I really need to take some photos to be developed, but I'm already updating my portfolio today (aka mounting photos on black paper and putting them in plastic sleeves... a harrowing task that took me all of an hour) and tomorrow I have lunch plans with Mr. Kids so..."

I also organize my plans around shows that I want to watch on BBC America. "I can leave after Cash in the Attack, but I HAVE to be back by the time Keeping up Appearances comes on because its the one where Hyacinthe works the church bazaar."

I read an article today about Mitch Hedberg in Entertainment Weekly and his mother said that after he died there were all kinds of letters and phone calls from fans. "One man called from Georgia and said 'You don't know me, but I loved your son.'"
I wonder if we know him?

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Monday, July 11, 2005

overheard at the drug store this morning:
"do you think wal-mart has it?"
"we'll call and see."
"ok, when we get home we'll get the number."
"nah, I got it on my speed dial."

If I ever put wal-mart's number on my speed dial, you have my permission to shoot me.


Sunday, July 10, 2005


get failed
I spent 3 hours like a zombie in IKEA yesterday. Very crowded. I saw more than one couple with their kids tied up in a makeshift leash so they wouldn't get lost. No one got knifed, as far as I can tell. An IKEA in the south? It makes me feel tragically unhip to know that I'm eyeballing the same couch as Donna Jo from McDonough. Everyone deserves a little fashion and modular furniture, I suppose.

this is big TM
Apparently if you want to use the above phrase, you'll need to contact the PGA Tour Superstore in Roswell, GA, a stones throw from my parent's house. The sign out front the store reads PGA TOUR SUPERSTORE, subscript "This is Big" TM. I can almost hear the clopping hooves of the PGA Tour Superstore Lawyers, foaming at the mouth, keeping tally of all the times I've used their oh-so original, trademarked motto "this is big."
Come and get me boys. I hit the Taco Bell dollar menu hard today and I'm sure I violated some sort of trust.

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