Thursday, June 16, 2005

I tried to give myself a haircut last night but stopped halfway through. Better to have half a shitty haircut than a whole shitty haircut, right?

One thing I like about BG is that he has no problem using girly smelling bath products. Whatever I buy he comes out of the shower smelling like it. This quality extends to fruity smelling hand lotions.

If I fall through my bathroom floor do you think I could sue the contractor that was supposed to come fix it this week but never called? I didn't think so...

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I'm going through a phase where I want to cash in everything I have and start fresh. I may need medication this time...

I've spent the past two days visiting the most amazing juvenile detention facility. No joke. Teachers, imagine this: all supplies are paid for, complete freedom within the classroom, no overzealous and obnoxious parents, students that want to learn, and someone that efficiently takes care of the behavioral problems. Yep. Such a place can exist. Even in a maximum risk facility. The vice principal told us "I don't see them as offenders, they're my children." Brilliant. She's dealing with repeat and sex offenders. To hear someone still have hope is encouraging. Whew. I'll step off the soap box early, but you might hear more about this when I'm done with the case study.

My coworker and I returned to town and relaxed by watching her bootleg version of the new Star Wars. I felt as if she was hiding the Nintendo 64 controlers behind her back. The graphics were on par with a video game, which means I'll have to see it in the theatres. Nevertheless, I was teary-eyed. This one was finally good, or maybe it was the alcohol. I normally avoid watching any movie with her that I want to see. Candyman was fine; Shaun of the Dead and Star Wars, on the other hand, was frustrating because she talks through movies, thus ruining them. I've insisted that I watch bad movies (that way I have nothing to lose). She suggested Howling 4 (0r 3): the Marsupials for next time. Kangaroos really don't have a good track record, do they?

Lawyers Waxing Phrophetic
As if we didn't have enough of that... there is a new addition in the side bar for fabulous Quadruple Keg Stand, the blog of historians, attorneys and soap-aholics alike. I'm not just plugging it because of a social indiscretion, as some might accuse. These guys are really alright.

I've spent most of my day having little success with iron-on letters. I can't figure what I'm doing wrong, unless I have defunct iron-ons... We'll blame it on the industry rather than my inability to read directions thoroughly. The rest of my day is being taken up by checking email and trying to remember how to do a box knot lanyard. Also not going very well. I should stick to ceramic ash trays. I made my non-smoking parents an ash tray in the shape of turtle on it's back when I was 7. I spent way too long making sure the pattern on the shell was just so. Whatever happened to that ash tray, I wonder... Its probably with the army of "paper weights" (rocks from our garden, painted and adorned with google eyes) that I made for years. YEARS.

If I don't have a shirt with my name ironed on the back by day's end I'm going to have a breakdown...

Monday, June 13, 2005

BG had an interview this morning and had to take my car since his decided to stop working. Now I'm stranded in the house on summer vacation with no transportation! I'd walk somewhere if I wasn't terrified of perishing from heat stroke.

Happy Birthday. I'm an ass-hole.
I forgot my mom's birthday last week. I don't know if it was the dog surgery or the weird weather or the wedding I had to shoot on Saturday, but I didn't even remind myself and then forget. I just completely fucking forgot.
I apologized, but obviously I'm going to have to do something REALLY fantastic to make up for this one. I wish I could give her a kidney or something...

Oh, and BG and I are changing our names to Hambone and Flippy. Just so you know.

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