Saturday, June 26, 2004

Several things you might not know about me
1) When I'm watching makeover shows (maybe I should stop here), I get intolerant with the women who are deathly afraid to cut their excessively long hair. "It's just hair! You're missing the whole point of a makeover!" You would think I was watching some sports game when the referee makes a bad call against your team. So, today I had highlights added to my hair for the first time. I definitely went to the salon with trepidation and felt bad for ever criticizing any one for being nervous. I didn't cry, though. Now that would be inexcusable.

2) My hair dryer has an ion switch--whatever the hell that is. Every time I dry my hair, I think to myself "ion capacitator found," mimicking the British "woman" on Turok 2 (a Nintendo game).

3) You know how you repeatedly get a certain, yet odd, song in your head...Yeah, well, mine is the theme to the Miss America pageant. I have no desire to be in the pageant, nor do I watch the show. So, why is that the song I think of most?

Not only have a bored you to tears, I've completely and willingly humiliated myself. Not much else to report.
When I used spell check, it suggested that I replace "makeover" with "macabre." Hmmm.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Charlie has the hiccups and I just spent the last 90 seconds formulating and executing a plan to sneak up and scare them out of him. He still has the hiccups but peed on the carpet instead.

I think that the band was less than pleased with their performance last night, but I thought it sounded good. What do I know?

The re-birth of Cool(a)
I have decided that the overall success of Bella Coola relies on how much McClintock, Ms. C and I all fucking love each other. "No you sounded really great on that." "Maybe so, but your vocal harmonies make me want to cry." etc.
At any rate, we're playing tomorrow night and are not prepared to hear what people outside of our love-fest have to say so be gentle.
That is my report.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

the de-evolution of cool
There is infinite difference between being 16 and driving around in a 1972 VW Beetle listening to Steve Miller Band at top volume on the boom box that dangles precariously from the handle above the glove compartment and being 27 driving around with an iced coffee and your dog in a white convertible with leather interior listening to the same.

That being said, I took extra laps around the block so I could listen to Serenade twice.

like that rusty old nail divine
BG and I made a trip to the ER last night after he put a nail through his foot downtown. I spent a couple of hours reading 2 month old magazines and straining to hear the news that they refused to turn up the volume on while BG got a shot and a lolly. Besides being a little swollen he seems to be ok. Thank god for insurance.

On November 1st, 1997 my friend Natty Bumpercar knocked twice on my door, silently handed me a piece of paper and walked away. I unfolded it to read:
sorry if I was a boob,
love Nat

The night before I had a Halloween party and Nat came dressed as a superhero whose only apparent power was kissing. The next day was damage control.
Today is my 1st November, 1997. This is my folded note and my silent retreat.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

I've Demonstrated More Than One Propensity As of Lately
Remember that filling in my tooth I thought was coming loose? Yeah, well it was an popcorn kernal embedded in my gums from probably 2 weeks ago. I was dreading the amount of money I would have to spend at the dentist. This always happens, regardless of my flossing habits. Sheesh, I mean how careful does a girl have to be while eating popcorn?

Sally's post about the Smiths and related items reminded me to check on something that bothered me a lot at the time but I quickly forgot about due to the amount of alcohol that has been collectively consumed between me, BG, Ms. C, the gorilla and McClintock in the past couple of weeks:
Suedehead is on Bona Drag. You all were right.
But it's also on fucking Viva Hate. Now my heart is full.

Night terrors
Here's the lineup from the last few nights:
1. I stabbed my father in the back and tried to bury him in my parents' newly renovated backyard until a nosy neighbor kept poking around and I went on the run from the police.
2. My beloved dog has passed on due to some neurological mishap that made him shake to death.
3. I was bleeding profusely from the head. At school. (that one's a no-brainer. calling dr. freud...)

I spent the bulk of yesterday playing video games, playing music and recording with C (haven't thought of an appropriate pseudonym yet. Any thoughts, Ms.C? I don't think he likes "jessica mclintock" as much as we do...). We also talked (for about a minute and a half) about starting a side project pop band and made the mistake of mentioning it to Big Gray because then all he wanted to talk about was that. We need him to play drums so we had to indulge him. At one point I just stopped him to remind him that he was NOT allowed to take over the alleged pop project. He tends to get a little over zealous...

"We" won rock trivia last night, but some of us were reminded numerous times that others contributed the bulk of the answers. They also reminded the tables around us of that fact. Listen you pompous music snobs, if it weren't for the ladies you would not have gotten that Alanis Morrisette question right and not had the perfect score that you were bragging about so eat it. I could give a shit about your 40 dollar bar tab.

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