Saturday, June 19, 2004

In defense of the Agent
I know this girl well, as most of the readers of RP do. Agent M, unless you have a split personality none of us are aware of I can't imagine what you might have said or done to P Shitty to make him behave this way.

P, I have 3 wishes for you:
1. you will develop a terrible case of adult acne
2. someone will come into your house and force feed you everything in the Morningstar Farms catalogue
3. a dog will pee on your shoes

Oh, and one more thing:
4. you will be the victim of identity theft and lose your graduate student fortune to The Omaha Steak Co.

Holy Fuck
His response to my email:
"you've confirmed every negative thought i have of you, and then
some. you have the logic of a jaded 6th grader. go
do your therapy somewhere else - i'm not wasting my time with this. but
that's definitely a good strategy, write off my disdain with you as
arrogance, it's much easier that way."

I'm very behind in my Netflix list and trips to the theatre. Finally, last night I watched City of God. It was the Oscar nominated movie this year about Brazilian gang culture in the favelas--a very poor part of Rio. Excellent. Now there's an accurate portrait of humanity! I love LOTR, but I have to say that this cinematography was superb. Engaging story. Not an uplifting movie, but it had positive moments. Music was great. I really need to discover more Brazilian music from the 60's and 70's. I love Os Mutantes, but don't know much else. Watch this movie!

Friday, June 18, 2004

Don't Cross My Wrath
I've had an eventful week, to say the least. I know it's been awhile since I've posted at length; so, this one may be a doozy. **please dismiss the excessive grammatical errors you are about to witness.
1) Last Friday, I began my new job working on research towards juvenile justice education programs. Despite the negative commentary I've heard about this place from others, I find it challenging and inspiring. I also think it helps that education and delinquency + policy is my area of interest. The most difficult part is getting accustomed to 8 hour days. It's also important that I become more involved with the school. Working at the Gang Center prevented me from fully immersing in the world of academia. It's about time I became more cynical.

The other day I went upstairs in our building to the Coke machine (we're located in an office complex). To my surprise, I discovered that DialAmerica Marketing is directly above my office. This is a telemarketing company and, also, former employer to Big Gray and me. I was probably one of their worst employees. It's not that I didn't try to work hard, but the product I sold was a cell phone--technology I knew nothing about and no one bothered to train us. I guess the supervisors assumed that everyone could operate a cell phone. I'd tell callers that "sure, it's free when someone calls you." Why wouldn't it be if it is on a land line, right? The funny thing is that the supervisors never caught my mistakes. One girl beside me blatantly lied to the customers. They report a problem and she would tell them that their request was on her screen at that moment--it wasn't. Fortunately, my supervisors did not condone such behavior. My time their lasted no more than 3 months. In fact, I frequently forget that I ever worked as a telemarketer. I thank god that I had previously worked at the USDA Fish Disease and Parasite lab; otherwise, I wouldn't have been hired in a retail shop (not worth explaining). Too bad Big Gray had to suffer several more grueling years at DialAmerica.

2. I bounced a check.
3. I think a filling in my mouth is loose. I know of no good dentists in town.
4. I've overcome a long period of writer's block in time to officially finish my thesis.
5. Yes, the wonderful lasagne supplier I referred to in a previous post is the asshole Mame speaks/spoke (what happened to the post?) of. "We" are obviously no longer together--sweet jeezus! I honestly couldn't tell you what happened. The first week was good, and the second week even had it's moments. Third week: I was sick, which inexplicably, I think, led to the demise of our relationship. He was always friendly, but increasingly despondent. We bypassed the "honeymoon" phase, and went straight being mundane--not my choice of paths. We were both busy and I felt as if this was partly the reason for the lack of excitement, but I was "naive" (told to me by the ass). It all ended last Saturday night. I mistakenly brought over the wrong pasta sauce and pasta for dinner. The pasta sauce was "4 Cheeses," which he turned his nose up at because even though he's a vegetarian he's really a vegan. Oh, and the noodles had egg in them which he couldn't tolerate either. I had listen to this prick go on about how he couldn't eat Morningstar Farms products any more b/c of all the cheese and egg in them. Eh? It gets better.
We rented 29 Palms based upon the recommendation of his friend who said it'll leave you feeling ill towards the world we live in. I had my doubts, because it was full of notable actors yet I had never heard of it. It was awful: derivative, trite, poor script, implausible plot, etc. The most humorous part of the evening was when_____, a presumably intelligent person, said he thought it dragged but still had a good message. What was that? Don't let Chris O'Donnell deviate from his traditional characters? We're all baadd? Oooh, so profound esp. since it's been done before and in more brilliant ways. Yeah, I got it, but apparently he didn't think so. Of course, the "activist" knows all about humanity, but the criminologist knows nothing. That night (and several others) he preferred that I didn't stay, b/c he didn't want to get sick. I'd had my cold for 2 weeks and wasn't contagious. His duplicitous behavior did arise suddenly; otherwise, I would've ended this earlier.
Now, after 4 weeks of knowing me, he says: "you have a demonstrated propensity for ignorant misinterpretations of my behavior...if you knew everything i thought, you'd realize i was taking the 'high' road here." I'm such an awful person for taking him out to dinner for his b'day and buying him the new David Sedaris (now my book!!), who is one of his favorite authors. You guys know me. I'm 100% evil. Fuck 'em.
**I told Big Gray the other day that I thought this guy is just the type of person to buy organic tater tots.

So you know what I'm doing...going to Disney World!!! Seriously, I am. We're having a juvenile justice conference in July. I'll be staying in one of the nicest hotels for free, drinking, basking in the sun at the pool, and riding The Universe of Energy 100 times. "From the stars to the skies," baby!

I owe all of you money for my therapy session.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

One of the ATL morning news teams was in ATH today with a story on this weekend's music-fest and Ms. Comrade's gorilla was supposed to be featured. The actual facts of the event have not been made abundantly clear to anyone, but the gorilla was not on the show. We suspect it had something to do with the host, whom Big Gray said needed a "cockpunch" worst than anyone he knows.
All was not lost, however, from being up at 7 am on a vacation day. I was able to catch the brief news report and mugshot of one of my students caught with 80 mature marijuana plants growing in his parents' home.

Monday, June 14, 2004

A glorious website brought to you by Dave Barry

Sunday, June 13, 2004

"Does this sound like a musical robot?"
We watched 'Spellbound', the documentary about the 1999 Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. Our favorite was a young man named Harry Altman. Go and rent this documentary. Harry is what I always pictured Big Gray like as a child. He agreed to this much, arguing though that he was "much funnier" as a kid.
That remains to be seen.

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