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Saturday, June 21, 2003

It's Here
The Entertainment Weekly "It" list is out and guess who's on it: Homestar Runner. Wow. They've hit it big time. The rest of the list is great. I love you EW! (I'd send a link, but I think it's for subscribers only).

Friday, June 20, 2003

I didn't think changing computers at work would be such a big deal. I'm beginning to think otherwise. Sure, the new one is faster and Windows XP is nice, but I've taken a step down in monitors. For some reason, I was spoiled with a flat panel when I first arrived. It's been replaced with a standard monitor. The difference is immediately noticeable. I'm on monitor #2 already today. I guess you could say the first went Pokeman on me. The pulsating/ vibrating screen (this is very difficult to describe) almost gave me a seizure. I couldn't look at it for a minute. The second is better, but I still miss the clarity of the flat panel. After 3 hours, I can feel my vision deteriorating. Imagine looking at the screen 20 hours a week. Too bad I don't get vision benefits, because I'm part time.

The moral of this story: invest in a flat panel monitor.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Atleast they are honest
"Decent Pizza" is the name of a new restaurant in town. I'll be first in line when it opens. Nothing appeals to me more than eating mediocre pizza. Who would have thought that kind of marketing works (maybe just on me)? I'm intrigued.

This just in
I'm getting a new computer at work. I've only been here since November and I already have what I consider to be a really good one. The bad news: I lose the flat screen.

Damn it
I keep finding errors in my entries. I apologize for all of the mistakes.

Is it me?
There's always something wrong (i.e. no shout outs, shuts down my computer) when i check out the blogs. Is anyone else having this difficulty?

The joys of living with Mame.
I'm in a fit trying to get stuff done before I leave to go south for my friend Heidi's wedding. Last night was spent with Lucas and Rebecca at the mall, me trying to find some sort of undergarment to wear under the green satin bridesmaids dress, them apparently in it only for the mall food. I have been (almost) true to my word about my eating habits this week, fearful that the slightest flux would make that dress unwearable. So of course once things like Sbarro and Dairy Queen are out of the question.

I was already in a particularly bad mood, elevated only by the fact that Lucas kept offering me bits of the things forbidden to me until after Sunday. My irritation reached new heights when he couldn't make up his mind at the Orange Julius counter and asked the slushie-jerk "What's in the orange julius?" I put my head down on my arms that were resting on the counter and yelled "ORANGES!"

Rebecca immediately countered it with "...and julius." Priceless.

A few minutes later I announced to Lucas, to the delight and entertainment of all the JC Penny shoppers, that if he didn't shut up I was going to slap his face off.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Speaking of idiot drivers
A woman directly in front of me a few minutes ago decided to put on her hazards and strike up a conversation with someone on the side of the road. I think they were arguing whether the man on the sidewalk should get in the car. He clearly did not want to, but that didn't matter to her. She stayed there despite the fact that she was blocking a major road with oncoming traffic. Fortunately, there were no accidents.

Stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
Open letter to the prick in the white Pathfinder:
Next time my car stalls out in the intersection and you respond by sitting on the horn despite my obvious car trouble, I will tear off your arm and shove it up your ass.
Love,
Mame.

A girl can dream can't she?
I had a dream the other night that David Sedaris had a new book out. If only that were true. Hmph.

I finished the latest Jimmy Corrigan. Sooo good and sooo depressing (excellent book review, i know).

"Vote Republican, We don't fuck around!"
I just read something really interesting re: D v. R and the occasion of philandering. It said that since WWII, of the 12 presidents we've had, 6 D and 6 R, 67% percent of the Dem's were known philanderers and 0% of the Republicans were.
I'd still rather vote for the cheatin' type.

2.5 more hours to go
Why does working in the morning go by so much quicker than working in the afternoon? Perhaps, it's just the change in schedule--a break in the monotony of going to work at the same time everyday.

Death Estimator
When I log on to my computer at work I immediately get the AOL "news" page. Those of you who also get it know that it is hardly news. They might have one link to a CNN article, but mostly it's celebrity hot-or-not and what Kelly Clarkston is up to these days. Today, on the side bar, was the headline "How long will you live?"
Not interested in clicking on it, I spent about 2 minutes deciding what, exactly, that link was all about. My conclusion? It's sort of like one of those monthly auto loan payment estimators, where you punch in how much you want to borrow, for how long and at what interest rate, press PROCESS and voila! $282.52 a month.
But in the Death Estimator it goes something like this:
Age: 26
Smoker: yes
Drinker: most most definitely
Exercise: occasionally
Hygene: good
PROCESS...and voila!

I wonder what my interest rate would be for living a long healthy life? Probably not good. I have poor life credit, I think...

And on the lighter side, thank you to Dixon for sending me this. Will Ferrell is my hero.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

This website is great. I think I will make a permanent link on the side it's so great.

Update on our collective interests:
our comments on:
"noodling"- 5
BJ and the Bear- 6
ficticious grocery lists- 6
Stephen King- 16

Iraq- 1
discovery of the oldest human fossil- 0
Venice Biennial- 0

Something is terribly wrong here...

Public education bad! Civil liberties bad!
A glimpse of the future?
I'm a little divided over their approach, especially when the PSA comes on at the end. Before that I thought it was maybe a little tongue in cheek, but now I'm not sure...

Item 1:
My aforesaid dress is mighty tight. To insure I will be able to breathe this weekend for Heidi's wedding I am signing off on all starch, (gasp!) alcohol, and for that matter, solids.

Item 2:
A certain former Georgia basketball coach's cell phone voice mail asks slowly and distinctly for you to speak "slowly and distinctly" after the beep.

Item 3:
I still have a job.

Item 4:
I'm becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I did not do such a hot job with the Neutrogena self tanner last night.

Item 5:
For $5.23 Planet Smoothie will give you the biggest damn smoothie you've ever seen and the biggest damn headache you've ever had to go right along with it.

Item 6:
Do women really not find Michael Douglas attractive, or is RRC just crazy?

Monday, June 16, 2003

Last night I attempted to make baba ghannooj. I know eggplants can be bitter, but this was beyond tolerable. The combination of ingredients did not help. Something went horribly wrong. I had to throw it out, which i hated to do because it could have been a couple of meals for me. There's something about this unbearable heat that makes cooking, or doing any activity, less desirable.

Apparently the Country Music Awards official website was a referrer to my blog, but I can't imagine how...

Operation celadon
Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come when I can no longer fool myself about the bridesmaid's dress I have to wear this weekend. I have put off trying it on or, for that matter, even looking at it since November. Probably not the wisest of ideas. But tonight I begin my struggle with 3 yards of celadon green satin and the approximately 9 inches at the bottom that need to be cut off for it to fit me correctly. Who do they make those dresses for anyway? Amazons?

I got news for you, David's Bridal, ain't no self respectin' Amazon gonna be caught dead in that dress...
Love,
Mame.

My left foot
I want to train myself to use the mouse with my feet instead of my hand. Talk about multi-tasking. Really it's just because my laziness has gotten to the level where I resent having to move my arm from the keyboard to the mouse every so often. I want to click and type with no recourse...

Squeals of Enjoyment
The UCR preliminary analysis is out. Check out how your city measures up in index crimes.
Chicago had 666 murders in 2001. Coincidence? Not many people know this, but I've heard it also called "The Witchy City."

Virtual atrophy
Big Gray was out of town for the second weekend in a row. Last weekend I spent drinking too much, staying out late and having slumber parties with Ms. Comrade. This weekend I spent on the couch watching movie after movie after movie. On the list were:
His Girl Friday
Deliverance
Dog Day Afternoon
The Player
Fatal Attraction
Box of Moonlight
Kolya
Night on Earth
and the last half of Summer Catch

I don't believe I left the house at all on Saturday.

Yesterday was Father's Day and although I didn't get to see my dad, I gave him the best present of all: I stayed perfectly calm despite the fact that he insists on calling me on his cell phone with complete disregard to the reception dial. In addition to having to yell to be heard, we were disconnected no less than 6 times over the course of a 15 minute conversation. Love you, dad. It's still second place to mom's 10 minute answering machine messages that sound a little something like this, "Hey, it's me. I ___________ schechkkkkkkkkkfttttttppppppppppp_______ and then we'll be ___________hackackackackackack schhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttpppchtchtchtcht _________ after we get back from ____g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-schssssssssshhhhhhhhh _____ and it's really important that you ______ chchchchchchchchchchchnk. Click.


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