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Friday, May 09, 2003

40 more minutes and I'm out of here
If I closed my eyes long enough I could probably fall asleep sitting up in my chair.

Last night LJJ went out to see some bands and when he came home I was asleep in the living room. We've been sleeping out there for a number of reasons. One is illustrated here. Two is that the futon is amazingly comfortable. Three is that we haven't quite gotten around to turning on the AC and with the attic fan on it's nice to sleep in front of the big window.

Lucas just likes to watch TV lying down.




The Scariest Valentine Ever
What they didn't include was the subtext which read "I want you to be my Valentine, as indicated with this message that I've painted with the blood of 47 kittens"

I used to think that the song "Forever in Blue Jeans" by Neil Diamond was actually "Reverend Blue Jeans".


Crazy with the heat
What is it about summertime that makes everyone nostalgic? They start talking about boys they knew who taught them bass guitar (ok, that was me) and a Japanese soda makes them giggle like children. I love it. I am constantly nostalgic.
I'm nostalgic about conversations I had 5 minutes ago.

Today we leave for the mountains. RRC is in SC listening to GW speak, begrudgingly I hope. The internet has been down at our house for 2 days now. After effects of Tornado! 2003. And finally, I was hesitant at first, not wanting to jump the gun, but it's safe to say now that the jeans I am wearing are absolutely not clean.


Thursday, May 08, 2003

Not so interesting things are really interesting right now
1. Everytime I open the dictionary in an attempt to look busy, I open it to "reunite". And then I get that song in my head. You're singing it right now aren't you?
2. One of my shoes makes a small, sweet deflating sound when I walk. I plan on telling the first person that asks what that sound is that it's my heart valve, thank you very much. I sound like I'm on a respirator.


I'm warning you...
I laughed out loud with my hands clamped over my mouth for 10 minutes straight. I can't look at it again without welling up.

we are brother
we are shih tuz


the grocery store from whence I came.

LJJ's always putting up links for cute things. You'll see what I mean. And if you're not convinced...

Fame and fortune
We're on our way to the top! Big Gray has signed a contract to put one of his songs in that new indie movie they're filming here. Next stop: the Oscar for best original score goes to...
If we ever make it to some awards show, I better get some vintage Gucci.

Items from my junk mail folder
"pick up striking women who covet you"- Interesting approach for a porn site.
"Cheryl Bangs"- Why is this funny? I don't know.
It just is.

The argument that I had with Big Gray at 3 am
What the hell does everyone have against English majors? Even English majors are bashing English majors. I've heard many times from LJJ -and now his mom (an ENGLISH MAJOR) is in on it too- that English majors like to talk about their subject more than any other subject area. First of all, I don't think that's true. Hello? Philosophy anyone? (no offense BB) And besides, who the hell cares? David goes on and on about law. LJJ and SFC you guys go on and on about just about everything. We're all guilty of being big wind bags from time to time.

I think one of my arguments was "well, Phoebe is an English major and I'd much rather be hanging out with her right now". Nice one.

He did ask that I not write about it. Sucker.







Golden delicious
I captured this nugget especially for RRC.

If all goes according to my evil plan, Big Gray is going to email me the pictures from last night that I had not the time or energy to download from my camera. Then I will put the best ones on my aformentioned fotolog.

I'm trying to beat the land speed record for drinking a liter of seltzer.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

I have a photo log at last.

stupid photos. Why is my template messed up? I haven't touched it!

I posted some photos from Wedding! 2002. I know they are late in coming and probably super boring for most of you. I did you a favor and edited them down. The cd that my dad gave me a couple of weeks ago had all these, plus 100 more. None of them named. Rebecca and I got drunk and looked at every single one. There were a lot of my mom's x-mas decorations that I left out.
***UPDATE***
Don't look for the pictures. Something is wrong with my FTP host and I removed the links. Sorry.

pbthhhhhpht. No more. Stupid Villagephotos...

Things I have to look forward to today
1. reading the new onion
2. the possibility of a return email from my friend David, back in the states from China
3. changing the color on my toenails
4. maybe getting my new shoes in the mail so that I can wear them out tonight

DBJ that I have a more exciting life than you. It takes time and energy to be this interesting.

Tonight, I celebrate my love for Amy Dykes
I have never had a friend that loves birthdays as much as Amy. Since her birthday is tomorrow, but RRC will be leaving to go hear George Bush speak in the morning, we celebrate tonight with bad mexican food and margaritas. Hopefully I will be as charming as Melting Dolls was on Cinco de Mayo. Last year everything I gave her was pink and I think I will make it a tradition. Dear god, tell RRC to make those cupcakes with the pink icing that I love so much. And make me lose 10 pounds by June 21st. Amen.

This weekend we are going to the mountains. My parents have a "cabin" up there. I use the term cabin loosely since it's like 3 times bigger than my house and continues to grow. But who am I to complain? It'll be mine someday and my dreams of living secluded and hording guns and gold bars will be realized. Hopefully they'll have the basement renovated so I'll be able to hone my skills as a pool shark and hustle my way across the country. Otherwise we'll have to rely on LJJ's plan: (as relayed to me yesterday) "So if I (LJJ) were a prostitute, I think that I would tell my clients that they have to pay me to give me a blowjob. I might not make much money, but when I do it'll be the best 50 bucks I've ever made." Great plan.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Lord in heaven. It's raining like a mother.
When I was at lunch today I started thinking about this guy I knew in high school, Jeff Hamilton. My mom didn't like him because when asked where I got the pot, I blurted out JH. A clever ruse, she believed it immediately. Now, before you all think that I'm a bad person, JH never suffered for it. But was I really supposed to tell her it was _____________? You almost got me. I'll never tell. She'd be floored. Jeff was a really cool guy, until he started hanging out with the white supremacists. Who knows why?
They were playing Ramble On in the Taco Stand and I got to thinking that night in the summer when I was over at Jeff's and he taught me the bass part of that song. I was 15 and full of life and things will never be like that for any of us again. Only different.

I love Case Meeting days because I'm never invited and other than answering the occasional phone call, I have uninterrupted me time for anywhere between 1 and 2 hours.

This time can be used for any number of things, but today it's to say this: I would never admit this anywhere except on a publicly published blog, but sometimes I like the way my armpits smell when I forget to wear deodorant.

Narrowly escaping with our lives!
Ok, not really, but it was exciting. All of a sudden everyone's wives (and Lucas) were calling to say the tornado sirens were going off and to GET DOWN STAIRS. One of them was crying. No, not LJJ. He really called to tell me about how he "saved" the cats from the garage. My hero!

Now the ceiling in my (upstairs) office is leaking and I'm hoping that the heavens open and it collapses tonight so that I may have vacation with pay, or at the very least a good excuse to not be here anymore.

Update! My boss, seemingly acknowledging his possibly irrational behavior over the past week or so regarding my performance, told me during Tornado! 2003 that I get a new computer. I would have settled for an honest apology, but you can only wish for so much.

Did you think you'd lost me?
I know, I know. I usually write something other than a one liner before 2:30, but I got yelled at first thing this morning by my boss for absolutely no reason. You know the type, tends to tear people down when they aren't getting their way. It happens a lot around here. Last week I was subjected to a series of scathing notes about mis-filing things. First of all, he was just confused by our less than perfect electonic filing system (that he chose). I had put EVERYTHING in it's proper place. Secondly, I am a fairly intelligent person with two degrees. I don't need to be scolded like a child. And lastly, if you have something to say to me, say it to my mother fucking face.

So this morning was an excercise in self control when he contacted me FROM HOME via instant messenger and asked, very passive aggressively, about telephone messages. I told him there were none. He then inquired about a meeting that I had set up for him this afternoon. Did I make the appointment? Yes. "But I thought you said there were no messages." Mee mee-mee mee mee mee mee mee mee-me-mee. I didn't mention it, ass, because I knew you had already talked to your assistant about it. What a goober. What purpose does that prove? That he thinks I think I fucked up? Because I don't.
HOLY SHIT. The tornado sirens are going off. I have to go.

I. hate. my. job.

Monday, May 05, 2003

Who watched 6 Feet Under?
So who's hoping that Lisa is lost or abandoned and Nate winds up with Brenda again? RRC is so finicky: just a few weeks ago it was "I hate Lisa" this and "Fucking Lisa" that and last night she jumped me for saying that I still want him to end up with Brenda. Although my reasoning might be terribly unhealthy, no one can accuse me of being inconsistant. But, RRC is probably right to vote Lisa, not Brenda.
On the other hand, I was hoping that Rico's hopped up, annoying wife, Vanessa, would pill pop her way into a coma in this episode. Alas, she came away with only a little scare and a mild addiction. I love Rico, so what's good for him is good for me.
Thank god Claire dumped that long haired, pastey art boy. It's guys like that who give artists everywhere a fucking terrible image. Did they intentionally make him annoying or was it just an oversite in character scripting? At any rate, maybe he'll do the show a favor and slit himself after Claire wised up and lost his ass when she found out he slept with their (male) art teacher, confirming her prior suspicions that he is gay. He said he was just confused, but she had a good point: that it was not her job to fix or straighten him out.
Mrs. Fisher turned down her chance at love with the funeral home intern and Keith and David had a brief moment of tenderness at a funeral before Keith turned back into Captain Abusive.
Oh, and in case it's already not weird enough...Billy tried to make out with Brenda on the couch, thus confiming our suspicions that he has been in love with his sister all along.

Why is it when it rains downtown everything starts to smell like rotten Chinese food?

I just made bigs steps to being a more responsible person: I signed myself up for automatic bill payment from my checking account. There was a time in my life when this would not have been an option seeing as though I usually had to call my parents to put money in my account before I could write any checks. Now, I have the money and if I ever neglect to pay a bill it's usually because I'm lazy or I squandered the cash I needed on booze or shoes. But now, my loyal readers, I will have to budget budget budget. I'm gearing up for the fall when I'll be making literally twice what I make now and LJJ will be biting at my heels to spend spend spend. He suggested that "we" get his mom a security system for her birthday in November and I inquired as to how "we" would pay for it and he replied that I was to pay for it. No way, Jose. If I'm buying a security system for anyone, it's for myself. Last time I checked, your mom made more money than me still- and she has a husband with a job. Let me tell you what's on the top of my list for monthly spending: my new Fabrio that I'm getting this summer. God I'll look fabulous in that car.

For Allison, as per our conversation about Brautigan and why people would want to kill themselves in a gas oven.


My good deed for today
Ok, so it really wasn't that valiant, but I rebutted the most ridiculous comment I have ever heard made about something that was, in itself, ridiculous- involving hot brazilian girls and my friend Melting Dolls. If you check out her photo log you'll see what I mean. What does "shut your fuck mouth" mean anyway? I think I made my point. Always give 'em a little dose of the lord.

I've just noticed that my archives aren't showing up. Interesting.
**(there they are, Peter!)**

Sometimes even your friends say things that you can't believe
There is an ongoing debate at Big Gray and catoptric over the problems of racism in the south. I think some interesting arguments have been made, but I stand by my man and my criticisms and say that things could be much, much better than they are and to say otherwise is contributing to the problem. For more details you'll have to see the links above. I'm too tired to get into it right now.

Somewhere I have never travelled
I have never forgotten a movie like I forgot the Matrix. With all the hype over the new one I thought that maybe I should watch the first one to refresh my memory. I didn't remember anything about it. It was like watching it for the first time, only I was more confused because I knew I should be understanding what was going on. I had to stop it and go to bed. Big Gray thinks I'm crazy. Maybe he's right.

Cough it up
How many times is ok times to ask someone who owes you money to pay up? 3? 5? I am owed decent money from someone and have been nice up to this point, but when do you get angry?

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